Shamrock's

995 West 7th St.
St. Paul, MN 55102
651-228-9925
www.crshamrocks.com


After being diligent about my calorie intake the past few weeks, I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to indulge my craving for a rare, greasy cheeseburger loaded with raw onions, pickles, and jalapenos – the ultimate PMS conqueror. Initially, I planned to head to one of my ol’ stand-bys (Fuddruckers, Smash Burger, or The Bull Dog), but I soon recalled my friend razzing me for never trying Shamrock’s, a St. Paul burger staple. Known for their Juicy Lucy’s, Shamrock’s has never been on my radar. Some may find it blasphemous for a Minnesotan to dislike Juicy Lucy’s, but let me state my case before I’m unjustly persecuted. In order to melt the cheese nestled between the two beef patties, the burger must be cooked to a minimum of medium. And if my burger isn’t kicking and screaming, what’s the point? All the flavor, juices, and tenderness originate from the blood and fat, and if those elements no longer exist, frankly, I’m not interested. My taste is far too impeccable to settle for a dried out hockey puck.

That being said, Shamrock’s has several other non-Juicy Lucy options to choose from, so I opted to finally give this West 7th fixture a college try. As I was ravenous when I arrived, I ordered off the starter menu: four hot wings and four Minnesota Wild wings. The hot wings are your everyday, garden variety bar fare that aren’t particularly noteworthy, whereas the Minnesota Wild wings are a unique sauceless sensation. Each piece is herbed, breaded, and deep fried, a delicious snack-size version of crunchy Southern fried chicken.


As for the burgers, the waitress recommended her two favorite menu options, so my boyfriend and I took her advice and ordered the Triple B-Bourbon Bacon Burger and the Lodge Burger. After all, their descriptions sounded enticing. The Triple B-Bourbon Bacon Burger is a 1/3 pound patty topped with cinnamon brown sugar bacon, smoky cheddar cheese, and bourbon sauce. Simpler in nature, the Lodge Burger is concocted of bacon, lettuce, tomato, smoked cheddar, and chipotle mayo. As our order reached the table, the burgers looked…well, the way a burger should look – sturdy, plentiful, and mouth-watering. I cut my burger in half and dove in. To my dismay, I was instantly disappointed. The patty was small and overcooked and the bread was reminiscent of a day old McDonald’s bun, minus the sesame seeds. Shamrock’s burgers are, as I initially expected, below average and a complete waste of calories.

In all honestly, Shamrock’s food and ambiance are what they should be, a mediocre, local place to grab a pint and a burger with your buddies at happy hour. It’s not a restaurant to cross town for to indulge a deep-seeded craving for sensational food. It is what it is, and I can accept that. So, the next time I’m in the market for a run-of-the-mill experience, I’ll keep Shamrock’s in mind.

Mindy’s rating: 3/10 Sporks

Mesa Pizza

1323 4th St. SE
Minneapolis, MN 55414
612-436-3006
www.mesapizzamn.com


A few weeks ago, I attended a friend’s wedding reception at the Varsity Club in Dinkytown. As their late night snack they served pizza; the ultimate indulgence for drunk party-goers. There was the safe, but boring pepperoni pizza to please the masses. Also in the line-up: margarita and Hawaiian pies, but the show stopper consisted of 20” of hand-tossed dough piled with elbow macaroni oozing with a blend of cream cheese, mozzarella, and cheddar. That’s right, you heard me correctly folks – mac-n-cheese pizza! Albeit corny, just like my friends who tied the knot, the coupling of pizza and mac-n-cheese are a match made in heaven. Something like the Midwest's answer to soul food, this simplistic combination conjoins decadence and down-home nosh with its mix of chewy, comforting carbs smothered in gooey, cheesy goodness. Before leaving the reception, I hunted down the groom to ask where this edible incredible came from. Conveniently, the restaurant’s located directly across the street and goes by the name Mesa Pizza.

A few weeks later, I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to indulge in another piece (or three) of Mesa Pizza’s mac-n-cheese masterpiece. Come to find out, the mac-n-cheese pie is one of their least unusual concoctions. I’m most intrigued by their BBQ Steak and Fries pizza (just like it sounds), as well as the Southern Gentleman (Cajun chicken, mashed potatoes, bacon, and cheddar cheese). And if that doesn’t sound like your cup of tea, they have approximately 40 other traditional and bizarre combinations from which to choose.


As Mesa Pizza caters to college students, the prices are reasonable and all of their pies are sold by the slice; a definite advantage if you’re too scared to order a whole Guacamole Burrito or Chicken Cordon Bleu pizza. If you have the cojones to order an entire pie, I should mention they only come in BIG; no smalls or mediums. A 20” cheese and pepperoni will set you back $13, while specialty pizzas are priced at $22.

As for ambiance, there isn’t any. It’s fine for those grabbing a quick slice for lunch, but otherwise I’d suggest savoring this doughy delight while in your PJ's watching reruns of “Little House on the Prairie” or “Star Trek: The Next Generation” (or whatever guilty pleasure you turn to while in the throes of gluttony). Depending on your location, Mesa Pizza may be able to deliver. They’re open from 11am to bar close Monday-Saturday, and 11am to midnight on Sunday. With Mesa Pizza’s wide range of hours and menu options, there’s no excuse not to try something new one of these days. Goodbye pepperoni and sausage pizza; hello tortellini pesto and spicy chicken quesadilla pizza!

Mindy's Rating: 7/10 Sporks

La Sirena Gorda

Midtown Global Market
920 East Lake St.
Minneapolis, MN 55407
612-870-0037
www.lasirena-gorda.com


La Sirena Gorda - the shining star of Midtown Global Market's ethnic food court. What's better than Mexican? That's right, Mexican seafood. It's an entire restaurant devoted to my favorite foods - shrimp, squid, octopus, mahi-mahi, grouper, crab, and clams - all prepared with south-of-the-border staples like chile, lime, and cilantro. The menu is small yet diverse, offering an array of flavor packed goodies. Among my top three: (1) Enchilada de Camaron, a blue corn tortilla filled with sauteed shrimp with onions, tomatoes, bell peppers, and guajillo sauce; (2) Pescando Grande, a whole tilapia fried in garlic mojo de ajo sauce served with rice, avocado sauce, pico de gallo, and tortillas; (3) Tacos de Pulpo, rings of octopus sauteed with pico de gallo and chipotle aioli.

As a self-proclaimed foodie, it's embarrassing to admit that I'm not a fan of ceviche (raw seafood marinated in lime juice), but La Sirena Gorda does serve it and I'm assuming it's top notch. Also, I have yet to try their salads; although I can verify that they appear bountiful and crisp. The Ensalada de Cancun consists of baby greens and orange vinaigrette brimming with crab cake, grilled shrimp, and ahi tuna topped with jicama, oranges, avocado, and tortilla strips. What's not to love?


About a year ago, I ate at La Sirena Gorda for the first time. Although Midtown Global Market is nowhere near my neck of the woods, I ventured back the next day to pack my cheeks with their authentic edible gems once again. There are several other incredible ethnic eateries at the Midtown Global Market, including Manny's Tortas, West Indies Soul, and Holy Land Grocery and Deli, but I'd highly recommend you put La Sirena Gorda at the top of your list. You have no excuse. The parking's free (in the ramp) and the culture's rich. Enjoy!

Mindy's rating: 8/10 Sporks

Twisted Fork Grille

1342 Grand Ave.
St. Paul, MN 55105
651-690-5901
www.twistedforkgrille.com


I tried it once. I tried it twice. I want to like it, but I don't. It turns out the new Twisted Fork Grill on Grand Ave. in St. Paul isn't really all that "twisted." The menu items sound interesting and somewhat innovative - such as the bison meatloaf and bacon sandwich, coffee marinated flat iron steak, peanut butter and banana stuffed French toast, and lavender creme brulee - but the food simply lacks flavor. There tends to be a problem when the menu items sound more delicious than they actually taste. Just as Gary Busey is often described as the poor man's Nick Nolte, the Twisted Fork could be referred to as the low-grade Longfellow or Highland Grill. I've personally tried six or so menu items and only one is of noteworthy depiction - the crispy Amish chicken legs. This appetizer is three legs of chicken marinated in a fiery blend of chile and honey and accompanied by a cabbage-carrot slaw. Reminiscent of Buffalo Wild Wing's Asian zing wings, these deep fried drummies serve a powerful punch of both sweet and spicy. In this case, the garnish is just as impeccable as the chicken, as the slaw is drenched in the same aromatic marinade.

The Twisted Fork's breakfast is served from 7am-2pm daily; while lunch and dinner range from 11am-close. As my visits were during lunch, I didn't pay close attention to their wine and beer list, but my friend mentioned that they have a decent selection of micro-brews.

The ambiance is friendly, clean, and relatively average. The small size of the restaurant makes the corporate feel (Green Mill owns and operates the Twisted Fork) slightly less annoying. On a positive note, the wait staff are attentive and helpful, offering suggestions to those who inquire. What the Twisted Fork lacks in taste, they make up in convenience, congeniality, and neighborhood charm.

Mindy's Rating: 4/10 Sporks